Today is my birthday and, for reasons I've not yet understood, as I was polishing my metal teapot earlier a genie appeared and granted me three wishes. Stunned as I was, having fallen onto my kitchen floor at the appearance of the genie, I struggled to think for a moment. Yet the genie was patient and waited without complaint as I composed myself and came up with the three wishes as requested.
For my first wish, I said, I would like to make mobile phones illegal and to have them all collected up and crushed.
For my second wish, I continued, I would like to have social media outlawed worldwide and abolished for the rest of human history.
For my third and final wish, I added, now getting into my stride, I would like all national borders and nationalities erased.
The genie smiled back at me and winked. You ask for a lot, she said. But I can see why you ask for that. Then she clicked her fingers and was gone.
And that was when I woke up for, of course, it had all been a dream.
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